There are many scare stories in the media about people who got conned and ended up sending cash to people they met online. If you’re new to online dating, though, it may be hard to believe that there are people out there who make a living out of abusing the system and scamming people out of money. Luckily, it’s actually quite easy to stay safe and avoid being scammed. Here is some useful information to refer to ensure a safe online dating experience.

Too good to be true?

As a general rule, if somebody’s profile looks too good to be true, chances are it is.
If you spend any time at all on dating sites, you will have seen them women who look like underwear models who describe themselves as God fearing, caring, loving and submissive. Their hobbies usually involves activities such as cooking and cleaning. The men describe themselves as honest and gentle and their pictures look just as posed. Their descriptions are usually full of lists of adjectives, obviously taken from a dictionary or a thesaurus, coupled with declarations of wanting to find true love.

You may get messages from people like this, often using overly-affectionate terms straight away and declaring their undying love to you. Usually their level of English would be quite poor. Such messages sound like a dream, but sadly a relationship like that is more likely to turn into your worst nightmare. Be very wary. Underwear models and well-off businessmen/male models are not likely to act in this way both online and off!

Never send money

Not all scammers are as obvious as the ones detailed above. Unfortunately, with people becoming wiser, scammers have had to change the way they work. Nowadays, some of the pictures scammers use can look like perfectly normal people.
The telltale sign is usually their actions. A scammer wants your money and sooner or later will try to get it off you by means of a sob story. Usual stories are of women trapped in hotels and needing to pay the bill before they are allowed to leave, stories about owing money to shifty businessmen and stories about wanting to come and meet you in your own country but not having any money.
In all cases, it’s highly advisable to never send money to anyone you’ve just met online and be highly suspicious of sending money even a few months down the line.

Report and ask for advice

Any reputable dating site will have a moderating team in place who are there to keep the site safe. It is in their interest to keep scammers off the site. If someone has approached you and you are not certain whether he/she is a scammer, contact the site moderators and ask. They will not report your question to the other user, but have access to all of that user’s messages, so will be able to tell if the person has been working other people at the same time as you. They will also have more experience at dealing with scammers so would be able to spot them quicker.

Be Cautious, be reasonable

Sometimes when you have been chatting to the person you think is your perfect match, it’s easy to ignore the warning signs and refuse to believe this person is trying to con you out of money. This is why you should take extra care and listen to the advice of someone impartial. It’s better to learn the bad news before you part with your money and not after.

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First dates for some can be intimidating and stressful. Often, one’s mind and emotions are overcome with insecurities and fears.

Conversation normally is a big factor for a positive date outcome as well as a great influence on the failure of your date.

Carrying a conversation during a first date can become difficult and uneasy at times, since you hardly know the individual you are dating (specially on a blind date), making it hard to open up and think of a certain topic to talk about and with slight tension and nervousness, things can be really awkward.

On dates, usually a person is scared of rejection and failure; thus is nervous and conscious on what to say. It has to be the right things; sparking his/her interests as the wrong words may either injure your date’s feelings or make the conversation boring. This is because usually one is very concerned about one’s impression that he/she is able to convey to his/her date.

One’s apprehensions can lead to damaging results, usually paralyzing one’s thoughts and emotions, thus inhibiting one’s capability to behave confidently and normally like one would do when he is in the company of family and friends.
As a result, one ends up in a very humiliating and embarrassing situation, which one describes in dating as “awkward silence”.

Almost everyone is capable of carrying on an effortless, enjoyable and easy going conversation with individuals they are familiar with and therefore having the proper approach, so one can do it with the girl/guy on one’s first date.

One solution here is to think ahead of time the things that you can open up or topics that can start a good conversation; ask a common friend of his/her interest, hobbies, sports, career, etc.

Another solution is to relax and be yourself; never pretend to be somebody that you are not. Keep in mind that it’s no use when your date will like for putting up a front; it will be a great feeling to know that your date liked you for what you are.

Never brag, talking constantly of your awards and accomplishments as this would only set arrogant impression on you. Keep your conversation as simple as possible keeping away discussions about politics or religion.

Also, do not intrude or ask personal questions; whatever your date wants to relate to you, he/she will tell you on his/her own. Never too, talk about your experience about past relationships, as this will make your date feel uneasy. Making your date feel at ease with your conversations, for sure there will be a second time around for both of you.

Let your date talk and you have to listen well, as this will allow you to collect ideas of the things that interest your date and make these as topics for your conversation as well as be acquainted with your date much better. Furthermore, being a great listener is one positive feature that any ideal date can possess.

Take note that most often than not, people are tempted or even talk about their life story. Be careful, as this might only bore your date. Instead, loosen up and select an easy topic or general things such as movies, food, or anything that is of interest to your date. Or be funny and joke a little, you do not need to be all that formal.

Basically, when you are listening well to your date, you’ll know what you both have in common, so talk about that, so you can develop a good bond.

Do not let the “awkward silences” worry you, at some point those silences will come, but know that as they embarrass you, they also embarrass your date. Awkward silences are never a basis for you to conclude that your date is not interested in you; he/she just might be in a similar situation as you.

Relax and be yourself. When “silence” do come, break it with a joke, a compliment or a question and remember to be honest; let your date know how nervous you are (when you are). Letting your date know how to feel on this first date will take away the tension on he/she is feeling and will make him/her comfortable and can handle the situation better.

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